


made of glass

by whimsicalMelancholy



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, he's just tryna figure out his feelings y'know?, ryo is kind of dumb but that's okay, still don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29194371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalMelancholy/pseuds/whimsicalMelancholy
Summary: made of glass, i shatter with easeput me back together, would you please?ryo gets injured during a demon hunt and begins to grapple with his feelings for akira.
Relationships: Asuka Ryo | Satan/Fudo Akira
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting in my google drive for the longest time and here it is..............released to the public  
> it's one of my only long fics and in the same fashion most of my long fics come to fruition, i simply occasionally black out and come to with several new paragraphs written, unsure of how much of it makes sense  
> i've pored over it for a really long time cus i'm really insecure about it (like i am of all of my long fics) but i hope it's polished enough to finally post!! enjoy!  
> (this chapter is a little short but rest assured they get longer)

you could call asuka ryo a lot of things, but one of them would not be stupid. 

he’s calculated, clever, precise in everything he does. he knows what he’s doing, and he’ll do it right. nothing is ever a mistake, never a misstep.

but tonight, he thinks he’s messed up.

amidst the chaos of tonight’s demon hunt--a more difficult one that akira insisted he could handle--he finds he’s lost himself. he’s not thinking quite right, not quite clearly enough, hasn’t been recently. he shifts his leg a little too far, knocking over a large stack of boxes he was supposed to be hiding near with an audible crash. 

akira’s attention is drawn first, superhuman senses immediately picking up on the hollow clatter of crates on the ground, some so fragile and precariously positioned to begin with that they make a violent crunch on impact. not unlike the shattering of delicate bones, ryo thinks vaguely as he looks back at akira, both of their eyes widened.

the demons surrounding akira notice his momentary distraction, their attention shifting as well. ryo finds glacial eyes illuminated by moonlight and a red blinking camera light are sharp in the darkness.

it seems that so are demon claws.


	2. Chapter 2

bright.

bright lights.

someone sniffling and sobbing from far, far away.

 _shut up,_ ryo tries to say. _you're being noisy._

but he can't make any noise, and it's too much of a struggle to open his eyes. he feels something jolt in his side as he tries to move.

 _pain?_ he wonders. he shifts again to try to confirm his suspicions, only to entirely verify them as he feels another stab somewhere in his body that he can't quite identify in this hazy state. maybe every part. he can't tell. _yeah, pain_.

if he's feeling pain, he must be alive. good. if he wasn't, he wouldn't be able to be with--

 _akira,_ ryo realizes with a start. _akira, where's akira?_

by sheer force of willpower (where it comes from, he's not sure), ryo forces his eyes open, ignoring the screaming pain signals his body is sending him. _akira, akira, akira,_ is all he can think of, desperately, singlemindedly, and he doesn't know _why,_ as he wrestles with himself to regain consciousness.

choked sobs turn into a voice and ryo feels compelled to follow.

ryo opens his eyes and closes them immediately, jerking away like he's been burned, unwilling to and physically incapable of looking right into the blinding lights above him. but he recognized something.

he struggles to open his eyes again, apprehensively, eyelashes fluttering as he makes out a shape now looming over him. it darkens the impact of the offending lights, making it easier for ryo to see.

"ryo!" a familiar voice calls, filled with nothing but relief and fondness, maybe some sniffles.

ryo feels tension he didn't know was there leave his body as his lips instinctively curve into a smile. _akira._

"god," akira hiccups, trying to look like he wasn't sobbing his eyes out. "i'm so glad you're awake, i'm so, so glad..."

akira's strong arms embrace ryo, and he relaxes into them as if they were the only thing that could protect him.

_ow._

he must have said that out loud, because akira immediately releases him carefully. after a cursory glance at ryo's body, probably in pretty bad shape if the look in akira's eyes means anything. he looks away quickly like he can't bear to anymore, and slumps in his chair.

"i-i'm so sorry," akira says, exhaustion seeming to wash over him. he's got dark circles under his eyes, ryo notices. has he been sleeping? "i... _i_ did this to you."

his body-- _so large, so strong--_ begins to shake.

_ah, he's crying again._

ryo reaches out with feeble, aching arms. they beg him to let them rest, but he ignores it. he needs to reach out to akira, hold his hands, his face, anything. he needs to wipe away akira's tears, tell him it's okay, tell him everything will be fine, tell him--

he opens his mouth to try to say something, but finds his mouth is dry. just how long has he been out? how long has akira been here? somehow, the idea that akira has been watching over them eases his pain.

even through his crying, akira notices ryo's weak movements and strained lip smacking. _always so attentive._

"water!" akira fumbles for a second and grabs a small glass from the bedstand, gently bringing it to ryo's lips. "here."

ryo's arms move from trying to reach out to akira to holding onto his hands, working with him to take a sip of water, and warmth floods through him like an open fire on a winter night. _his hands, those hands that have ripped apart demons with frightening ease, are so gently. so warm._

"akira," ryo croaks. his voice is hoarse and sounds terrible and it makes him wince. he's almost embarrassed akira has to see and hear him like this. akira's wet eyes meet ryo's, and it makes him soften. "akira, it's fine."

"it's not!" akira yells suddenly, choking. the sudden outburst takes ryo aback.

"sorry," he apologies, softer this time. "it's not okay. i got you hurt."

"akira," ryo tries again. “when i got you--both of us--into this, i fully anticipated consequences. this was not beyond my expectations.”

 _that’s a lie,_ ryo thinks inwardly. well, he expected to get hurt, but not like this. he should’ve been paying more attention instead of knocking over those boxes in an uncharacteristically clumsy way.

_so why didn’t he?_

he takes a long look at akira's face, drinking in his features like the water wasn't enough. it's sculpted, no longer soft and round like he recalls. his hair is more wild than normal, and his eyes are red from crying. they're so full of depth, so much warmth to give, despite the things they've seen, but they look so tired. ryo feels something tug in his heart. _he_ was the one who put akira through that, everything--

“no,” akira’s voice cuts in before ryo can think any harder. “i should’ve...i should’ve been the one protecting you. if i didn’t look over at you to attract the attention of those demons _\--_ ”

his expression sours at the memory and he doesn't finish his sentence. 

he shakes his head and grabs at his hair in frustration, tears starting to form again. 

“god, no, if i hadn't forced you into this at all and insisted that this hunt would be fine, you would still be okay. i fucked up, ryo. i fucked up and i hurt you when i was supposed to be protecting you. i’m sorry. i…i almost lost you.”

it both warms and confuses ryo's heart to hear that akira's been intent on protecting him this whole time when ryo thought it was the other way around. unfamiliar emotions buzz in his aching body, the feeling no longer unfamiliar.

_how bothersome._

“it’s okay,” ryo promises akira one more time. “such is the fault of humans. they make mistakes that they can’t help all the time.”

akira doesn’t look like he appreciates that, but it’s just a fact.

“but you? akira, you can learn from them. you’re different. i trust you.” 

akira looks up with watery eyes at that, almost hopeful, maybe satisfied. ryo smiles when he looks at akira's face, a trend he's been noticing recently.  
  
“so trust me too, okay?”

akira wipes his eyes, nods, and smiles back.

 _even so tired, such a mess, after so much crying, he’s beautiful._ ryo has always known that.

_but today, here, right now, akira has never been more magnificent._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhehe i keep forgetting to update but that's okay  
> thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> yeah it's in all lowercase again. what are you gonna do, sue me?  
> i don't know if this is gonna be exactly 8 chapters but there are like 14 pages on google docs so we'll see how i divide that up  
> thank you for reading!


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